


certified dad vibes

by londer



Category: Dimension 20, The Unsleeping City
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Baby Fic, Campaign 03: The Unsleeping City, F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, no like literally found family, ricky matsui has got dad vibes all the way baby, so much goddamn fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26416546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/londer/pseuds/londer
Summary: "Hi babe," he says. Esther mumbles a sleepy hello ; it's almost midnight and she was definitely asleep. "I need you to baby-proof the apartment.""You what?" She sounds very awake now. "Babywhat?"He explains. She's quiet for a minute at the end, and he's worried she might be mad but he also wants to give her the space to express that. "Okay," she says, and her voice is much softer than he thought. "Yeah. Civic duty. I'll make some space for the crib and put all the weapons in the hall closet."
Relationships: Ricky Matsui/Esther Sinclair
Comments: 34
Kudos: 211





	certified dad vibes

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by my own headcanon post [here](https://elsie-writes.tumblr.com/post/628628326326616064/elsie-writes-dont-text-thinking-about-ricky)

Ricky's working the Friday night shift at the firehouse and it's been pretty calm, just one mild grease fire that he and John R. put out very quickly with only cosmetic damage to the kitchen. He's lying on his bunk, texting Pete through his panicking about Rowan. Pete apparently tried to ask her out properly and she had just evaded and they had sex and now it's a whole mess because Pete doesn't know where they stand. Ricky's trying to be supportive, but it's hard when his friends are so unwilling to talk about their feelings. 

"Matsui," John calls from downstairs. His voice is a little weird and soft, so Ricky goes down right away on one of the poles. "Come lend a hand." John's standing with a scared-looking young woman beside him and a bundle of blankets in his arms. 

Ricky's not the smartest guy and they've never had a safe haven surrender before, but even he can put this all together. "Hey," he says, goes over to them and takes the baby from John. It's fast asleep, just a little bit of face poking out from the grey folds. He cradles it close to his chest - it's only a couple pounds and he feels breathless with how fragile and small it is. 

"You don't have to leave any information if you don't want to," John tells the woman. "But if you want to leave family medical history, that's often appreciated later." 

"None that I know of," she says, pulling her jacket closer around her. "Is that all, then?" 

"As long as you understand that this is an irreversible decision to yield all parental rights, that's all," John says. She nods. "Then you're all set. I'll walk you out." He leads her back to the visitor's entrance to the firehouse. 

John does the paperwork, starts making the right calls, and they get an emergency slot at the pediatrician's up the block so see baby Alexander tonight, but there's no chance of a social worker appointment until Monday. The question of _where_ the baby is going to end up for the weekend becomes very clear when Ricky tries to hand him off to Christine, who's here on overtime to bring Alex to his appointment, and he immediately begins to squall unhappily until Ricky takes him back. 

So Ricky takes him to his appointment, bundled to his chest in a makeshift sling made out of spare bandages. Alex gets a bunch of shots and cries a lot and throws up on Ricky's shirt, but the doctor pronounces him perfectly healthy. When Ricky arrives back at the station wearing an entirely too tight scrubs top he borrowed, John's set up a crib and a few bottles of formula from their emergency stores. Christine's a mom, so she talks him through how to feed him and how to burp him. Ricky didn't know that burping babies was a thing until just now and he fully does not understand why he needs to make the little guy puke a little bit but he goes with it because Christine did it and her daughters are ten and eight and doing fine. 

Then he puts Alex down for a nap and calls Esther. "Hi babe," he says. She mumbles a sleepy _hello_ ; it's almost midnight and she was definitely asleep. "I need you to baby-proof the apartment." 

"You what?" Esther sounds very awake now. "Baby _what_?" 

He explains. She's quiet for a minute at the end, and he's worried she might be mad but he also wants to give her the space to express that. "Okay," she says, and her voice is much softer than he thought. "Yeah. Civic duty. I'll make some space for the crib and put all the weapons in the hall closet." 

"I love you," Ricky says. "Thank you for understanding." 

"I love you too. Thanks for giving me a heads up," she says with a yawn. "I'll see you tomorrow morning." 

Alex has a good night, as far as Ricky can tell. He only wakes up to fuss a few times, and goes back down after a bottle or after Ricky walks around holding him for a few minutes. Ricky learns how to change a diaper, which is not fun, but also not nearly as bad as he would have originally thought. Christine helps him move the crib and the bag of supplies the firehouse provided to his apartment the next morning. 

Esther's very awake when they get there, wearing a loose blue sweatshirt over leggings, holding a battered copy of _What To Expect When You're Expecting_ and a highlighter. "Oh," she says when she sees Alex bundled against Ricky's chest in his sling. Her jaw drops and moves a little bit for a moment before she just reverently says, "He's so _little_." 

"Twenty days old, the doctor thinks," Ricky says. "Want to hold him?" 

Alex does not like being held by Esther either, and he's quickly transferred back to Ricky. "We'll work on it," Ricky promises her. Esther strokes the baby's head and only looks a little put out by the whole thing.

"Babies are weird," Esther says. "I'll go make him a bottle, maybe that'll help." 

So Ricky sits on the couch rocking Alex gently while his big brown eyes track over Ricky's face and he grabs emptily at the air. Ricky picks up the baby book and starts to flip through it. Esther's so smart for doing research on babies; Ricky's got no idea what he's doing. There's a whole section on skin-to-skin contact for bonding, so he carefully balances Alex in his lap and peels his shirt off so they can go chest-to-chest on the couch. Alex is very soft and the fuzzy top of his head smells nice. It's like new car smell, but for babies. He's getting very attached to the little guy already, is obsessed with his teeny fingernails and little tufts of hair.

He takes a selfie of the two of them chilling and sends it in the Matsui family group chat with a quick note about missing dinner with his parents this weekend because he's babysitting, and sends it to the Dream Team group chat with the caption _check it out_. 

**Ricky:** [img36.png]

 **Sofie:** lkdajfoieafndklfoweppppidsklafnd

 **Sofie:** [img37.png]

 **Pete:** baby???

 **Sofie:** ricky you gotta give a girl a warning before you send shirtless baby photos i've got nose blood running everywhere

 **Pete:** BABY!!!!???

 **Rowan:** where the hell did you find that thing??

 **Kingston:** Why the fuck do you have a child

 **Kingston:** You are a child.

 **Pete:** can i visit baby?

 **Sofie:** Ricky did you have a secret baby out of wedlock!!! Does Esther know!!

 **Kingston** : Do you even know what you're doing? Do you need us to stop by? Have they been to a doctor yet?

 **Pete** : I swear I'm good with children despite Everything

 **Sofie:** MR MARCH DID YOU HAVE A SECRET TORRID AFFAIR AND NOW UR A DAD

 **Ricky:** [sunglasses emoji]

 **Ricky** : haha no Alex got dropped off under safe haven statutes

 **Ricky** : i have him until monday if you want to come visit

Esther gives Alex a bottle while Ricky holds him. She strokes a thumb over Alex's fuzzy little head and starts to cry as the two of them look at each other while she feeds him. Ricky pulls her into his lap as best he can and presses a kiss to her cheek while he holds them both tight. There's a lot of emotions in his chest to process but mostly he feels content to have these two people he cares about safe in his arms. 

Alex finishes drinking and Esther buries her face in the crook of Ricky's neck. Ricky's going to have to get up in a second to burp him, but he lets her get the last of her cry out and kisses the top of her head before shifting her back onto the couch so he can stand with Alex. Esther watches him pace in their living room with a burp cloth over his shoulder, gently bouncing him, and her eyes are still a little misty but she's also smiling softly at them, which is good. 

"Do you want kids?" She asks later, while Ricky puts him down for a nap. "We never really talked -" Her hands are fidgeting in her lap. He kisses her gently, and sits on the edge of their bed beside her, wraps her in his arms. 

"Yeah, I do," he admits, because honesty is important. Ricky's always wanted to be a dad, to go as a chaperone on field trips, coach little league and soccer teams,build forts in the living room, bandage scraped knees and pack lunches. "But it won't be a dealbreaker if you don't. And you don't have to suddenly say yes just because we have one for the weekend." Because he loves Esther, loves living dangerously, and would never ask her for something so huge if she didn't want it too. 

"I never thought I could," her voice chokes in her throat and he pulls her tightly in his arms. "I never thought I could even want it, with the, with the _curse_ , but I do, I think, eventually. I - I never saw myself getting to be a mom, and it took _so much_ for my mom to have me and -" She sobs into his chest and he snuggles her close. 

"We don't have to decide right now," Ricky assures her, presses kisses into her hair. "There's lots of time, and babies are hard to live dangerously around." He can feel her face change into a smile against his skin. 

Kingston and Pete are the first two to show up, both carrying enormous bags from a baby supply store. "Let's see him," Kingston says, and Ricky hands Alex over to him. Alex fusses, but doesn't start screaming, and Kingston starts giving him a little check-up. Sometimes Ricky forgets Kingston's a nurse and probably knows a lot about babies and medicine. "He looks good." Alex throws up on himself and also on Kingston, and Kingston just sighs. "Yeah, okay bud, let's get us cleaned up." 

"We didn't know what you guys had so we bought a bunch of everything," Pete's saying to Esther, and there's an excited-nervous undercurrent running through his whole body as he helps her unpack the shopping bags. "Well, Kingston bought them. I just helped carry stuff. There's diapers and a couple kinds of formula and a few onesies in different sizes because you didn't say how big he is. Oh, and a blankie, look, it's got giraffes on it, and pacifiers - those ones are plain and those light up if you wanna pretend he's at a rave." 

"Jeez, okay, thanks Pete," Esther says. She's looking at the array of stuff Pete's lining up on their coffee table with a little bit of panic in her eyebrows. "You know he's only here for the weekend, right?" 

Something squeezes painfully in Ricky's chest at the reminder that this is only temporary, and he distracts himself by taking one of the infant onesies from the pile and going to help Kingston clean up the mess.

Pete demands baby time next and Alex sleeps on his chest pretty peacefully. "My older sister had a kid about a year before I left home," he tells Ricky, voice low and eyes a little glassy with memories. "I really loved getting to be that kid's uncle." Ricky nods, half paying attention to him and half keeping an ear on Esther and Kingston's conversation in the kitchen about whether or not using the _sleep_ spell will be bad for the baby. "They're just so little and cute and don't _know_ anything and you're completely responsible for every part of their lives. And somehow you have to turn them into a person? A real person?"

Ricky knows these things. They are true and scary but also beautiful, to get to put together a new member of society, to love someone unconditionally because you have seen them through every part of their existence. He tries to articulate that, but what comes out is just "Yeah it's freaky, but also it's fun once you can play with them."

Pete nods. He's looking pretty sleepy himself. This is probably the first time he's sat quietly in days now. Ricky snaps a quick photo when Pete's eyes do finally droop shut because it's pretty sweet. 

Sofie shows up with a big tray of lasagna and another bag of soft toys. "It's a Staten Island thing, you make sure people with unexpected life milestones get fed," she says matter-of-factly as she bustles right past Ricky into the kitchen and slides the pyrex dish into their fridge. "Put the whole thing in the oven at 350 for twenty minutes to reheat it or nuke it in sections for two minutes with tupperware over it so you don't ruin the inside of your microwave. I wrote the instructions on the foil so you won't forget. Now where's my nephew?" 

"He's not - it's only - Pete's got him in the living room," Esther says. Sofie kicks off her heels in the shoe pile by the door and scoops Alex from Pete and immediately begins to fuss over him. "He needs a bottle again, do you want - ?" Sofie takes it from Esther without even looking and starts to feed Alex. Esther makes eye contact with Ricky and rolls her eyes, but Ricky knows she's not actually mad, just overwhelmed by all of this. 

Pete sulks a little at losing baby time and starts going through the bag Sofie brought. "Oh my god," he says, finding a fat stuffed rat and coming over to dance it in front of Alex. "It's Kug!" Alex looks unimpressed although Ricky doesn't think he's old enough to have opinions yet.

Ricky and Esther sleep in shifts, taking turns to feed Alex at the pediatrician-prescribed intervals and change his diaper and bounce him as they walk around when he wakes up fussy. Esther slides back under the covers with a discontented grumble after she puts him back down and tucks herself under Ricky's arm. "Babies are hard," she mumbles, already starting to doze again. "Cute. But hard." Ricky's still mostly out, so he just nods and pulls her in to him. 

They end up eating reheated lasagna for breakfast because they're both so tired from a night ducking in and out of sleep, and take turns watching Alex while the other showers. Kingston bought them a baby chest carrier thing, so they strap him to Ricky's chest and go on a walk through the neighborhood to get some fresh air. 

Emiko comes by with lunch and yet another shopping bag full of toys and diapers. "Oh, Ricky, he's so sweet," she says, wrestling Alex into a onesie that says _Auntie's Favorite_ in sparkly lettering. “No worries, kiddo, Auntie Emiko’s here.” 

“Were there worries before?” Esther mumbles to Ricky and he smothers a smile. Emiko loves babies and almost went for pediatric nursing before she realized she could help more people in the ER. She fusses over him and Alex does his baby thing of completely charming her. 

“What an absolute angel,” she gushes while they’re eating takeout for dinner. “I’ve got half a mind to join the fostering register just to try and keep him around.” 

There’s that prickling feeling on Ricky’s spine again, but he dismisses it and moves on. It’s another long night, but waking up to take care of Alex is easier with two nights of practice. Ricky wakes up to Esther sitting beside him in the dull grey glow of sun peeking around their blinds, Alex in her arms being fed a bottle of formula.

“Morning,” she says. Ricky’s heart squeezes hard in his chest. Esther looks so lovely; he wants to wake up to this view forever. 

Their morning is quiet. Ricky’s due at work at ten to hand Alex off to the social services guy. He packs up all the toys and baby supplies into a bag to send with him to his new foster family while Esther gets the last of her baby time in. She’s crying when it’s time to strap him into the carrier on Ricky’s chest. “Bye, sweetie,” she says through tears, pressing teary kisses to Alex’s little face. Alex must be able to tell that she’s sad and lets out a little wail of his own. “Oh, _no_ , shh, honey, it’s okay.” She presses one final kiss to the crown of Alex’s head and then gives Ricky a watery kiss good-bye. “I don’t want to let him go,” she says. 

“Me neither,” he replies, doing his best to not cry either. This sucks, a lot. 

“Thank god the no sadness curse is gone,” Esther says against his shoulder. She shivers and wipes her eyes. “I’m staying late at the chantry tonight to redo the wards. Text me when you’re home?” 

“Sure thing,” Ricky says and kisses her quick before gathering his things and setting out for work. “Love you.”

“Love you,” she says back, but he gets the feeling it’s directed a little more at Alex than at him. 

The social worker, Brad, is a nice guy. He asks Ricky a lot of questions about things like Alex’s feeding schedule and how he sleeps and Ricky’s pleased to be able to answer most of them.

“Well, that’s all I’ve got,” Brad says, snapping his manila folder of notes closed. He holds out his hands to Ricky expectantly, but Ricky holds on to Alex.

“Uh,” he starts, feeling suddenly hesitant. There’s warm tears rising in his chest at the thought of handing Alex off to a stranger, never to be seen again. “Could - could I have a moment? To say goodbye?” 

Brad nods. He doesn’t leave, which is weird, but Ricky’s going to make the best of the little time he has left. Alex hiccups and looks up at Ricky. He’s so freaking cute and small and fragile and the tears bubble out of Ricky’s chest into his eyes. Ricky smoothes his wispy hair on his forehead and gives him a kiss on the top of his head. “I’ll miss you, bud,” he says, straightening Alex’s little shirt. “I hope you have a good life. The best life.” Ricky’s throat is thick with tears so he doesn’t say anything else, just cradles him close to his chest and closes his eyes to imprint the feeling of this in his mind better.

“You know, we don’t have a good placement ready for him yet,” Brad says. Ricky doesn’t open his eyes because if he did it would be a glare. This asshole’s going to take this tiny baby to a subpar home? Bullshit. Total bullshit. Alex deserves the best home. “So if you wanted to apply to foster, or even adopt, you definitely could.” 

Oh. 

Well that’s a different story. 

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr [here](https://myclericalromance.tumblr.com)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [certified dad vibes [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577217) by [blackglass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackglass/pseuds/blackglass)




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